For years on end, parents have been preaching to their children: “Don’t talk to strangers!”. While this is done as a safety measure, parents often don’t realise that the real danger in the “stranger danger” message is the message itself. Good friends were also once strangers and by not approaching people you don’t know, you might be missing out on some really uplifting relationships. So the message that should be heeded instead, is how to talk to strangers without putting yourself in danger.
If you travel by bus, you will inevitably come in contact with many people you don’t know. Instead of just waiting out the ride with your iPod blaring in your ears, make conversation with the people sharing your bus ride. Here’s how to make sure you are still safe while conversing with strangers:
Firstly, remember that everyone on the bus has one thing in common: they are all on their way somewhere. If you’re on a long distance trip, you have lots of time to decide whether or not you will talk to the person next to you, but if you’re just travelling between two bordering towns, your time will be limited. Start off by introducing yourself to the person next to you. Focus on what you have in common right this instant – the bus ride.
After making initial contact, remember that even though you are talking comfortably to the former stranger, you still don’t know them. Be clever about it – don’t share personal information such as your address or the fact that you will have to walk 2kms alone after the bus has reached your destination. Talk about current topics that caught your attention, recent national or international happenings or what sort of work you do. Keep it artificial without making it obvious to the other person that you choose to not share personal details – you still want them to talk to you too, so don’t let them feel insulted!
Now that the conversation is going, the other person will have one of three reactions: one – they will not be interested in talking to you and will display obvious hints of this like burying their nose in a book, giving you short answers or assuming a position where they slightly face away from you. In this situation, it would be best to seize your efforts. You don’t want to appear like the creep that justifies the “stranger danger” message. Two – they might be the “stranger danger” and start asking personal questions or eye your iPad sticking out from your bag. Avoid any further conversation and if possible, let them get off the bus before you. Third – your fellow traveller might reciprocate your interest to talk to them and partake in the conversation enthusiastically. In this case – chat away. You might just make a new friend!
Times are forever changing and so should our approach to talking to the people around us. While crime and violence is a certain reality in our day and age, it is important to find the balance in talking to new people and still maintaining your safety. Follow the above guidelines and above all, trust your instincts when talking to someone. Don’t limit yourself by being scared – it is possible to talk to strangers safely!
